Time and Attention are natural and healthy demands of children. But there's a limit right? Yes, there is a healthy balance. read on...
Play is the language of childhood.
Play with your child 10 minutes every day.
We know that children who do better in school are the ones who engaged in real-time free play for much of their first 6 years of life.
Keep reading, this is life changing information!
Most adults don’t know how to play with young children under 5 or 6 years old. And for those who try, let’s get real: It’s boring!! Ok, so we got that confession out of the way so now let’s down to the business of PLAY. I’ll spare you all the attachment theory mumbo jumbo but suffice it to say that a young child’s brain is lighting up like a firework display when they are playing. Enough research to bore us all to tears has let us know that the part of the brain responsible for problem solving, risk management and relational intelligence is developed through play.
Did you catch that relational intelligence phrase? We know now that the kids who do better in school are the ones who engaged in real-time free play for much of their first 6 years of life. There’s something about the development of relationships and managing those early relationships – you know: babbling, smiling, peek-a-boo, reaching, crawling, running, sharing, planning, building, knocking it down – all this over and over and over again.
My tip for you: PLAY with your child for 10 minutes every day. If you decide to hire me as your parenting coach, we can explore your child’s specific love language and explain how play fills their emotional love cup. But for now, just know that 10 minutes of your undivided attention, doing something totally fun with your child will reap near miraculous benefits of obedience and compliance.
Why is playing with my child so hard? (Besides it being so boring)
Follow your child’s lead – taking the back seat is hard in a lot of areas of life. But for this 10 minutes simply do what your child wants to do. For the infant, this is smiling and babbling back and forth, for the 1 year old it is reading the same book they love about a dozen times. For your older child, it might be a quick game of hide and go seek. And with your teen it’s playing cards like a few quick rounds of slap jack.
Pace at the child’s level – Don’t expect too much and give the child time to develop their play. And, don’t compete with your child. Of course you can build a bigger and cooler lego tower, naturally you have more developed language skills for playing with baby dolls – not to mention all the better ideas you have. But, playtime with your child is about them, their pace, their ideas.
Remember – This specific 10 minutes is for positive attention, encouragement and praise. This should be real interaction between you and the child. Video games and movies don’t count for this. Sorry.
I have all sorts of parenting tips to build upon this and hope that you will contact me for a parent coaching series that will be tailored to your specific family dynamics.
I hope you had opportunity to try the when/then technique and that you will stick with it. I am so excited that blogging presents an opportunity for you to get to know me and to work together toward the family life that you desire. I hope you will join my network so that we can keep this going!
Angela Didway, 864-612-0409.